So where do I start with sooo much that has happened in the news and with myself.
Lets start with Monday and the bombings at the Boston Marathon.... lots ran thru my mind anger, sad, shocked and among other emotions this had really hit home for me. I thought why would anyone want to do this sort of thing and then when I found out that an eight year old boy died waiting for his parent to finish I felt extreme sadness. Running is now my joy and it's sacred to me because I have been fighting so freaking hard to become a runner and it made me realize it could have been my son waiting for me to finish a race. My heart goes out those effected by the tragedy... as runners we will join together and run again! Now I have decided not to run a marathon and not because of what happened but because I don't have the time right now to put in to training as well as they are huge races to go to but it would be an honor to run one. I'm not saying never just not in the next few years.
I've also been dealing with frustration in life all over and when I feel frustrated I tend to hold it in and then one day I explode... not angry yelling explosions but crying ones. I am very emotional so once I start to talk about one thing that is frustrating me I will cry while doing it. I hate it and that's once thing I would change if I could as it makes me feel weak when I do but after I cry I feel better, I just wish I could cry when I needed to and not when I am trying to get my feelings out. Tuesday afternoon I released some frustration and boy did I feel better but at the same time the stress and everything else made my body exhausted and drained. That night I went to bed early. Wednesday was feeling better but still tired and drained and ended up going to workout with my gal Lisa and Gwen. I am always glad afterwards I do it because talking and working my butt off and increasing weights always makes me feel good about accomplishing something. That night I decided to just keep doing what I am doing in all aspects of my life and things will just work themselves out as I go along. Things I can change I can make little steps to doing that and other things that I have no control over to just go with it as I can't do anything about it anyways.
Thursday after work I decided enough was enough and to get serious about my half marathon training... it's not going to happen until I get out there and go do it. So I did and took the pup with me.... well as we were going I thought I would do a short 4k or 5k but as I was going I was dealing with the frustrations in my head and as certain songs came on and I listened to the words life started making sense again and I found my mental toughness and strength. All of a sudden I heard on my gps app Endomondo that I was just passed the 4k mark and I still had to turn around and go home. Wow it felt great. Got home and I ended up going just a little over 8km... wow I did it and on gravel too and my time was slow but still better then normal. OK I can do all these races I want and I know I can finish... best feeling in the world.
Friday morning I got up and met up with my gals Lisa and Sandra at a running track for some indoor running work. It was great to run on a hard surface again and my body was handling it awesome. We did lunges and ran the stairs and I loved running faster then I could before and feeling that adrenaline was fantastic. I still have it and I am going to do what I can to not loose it. Came home and enjoyed the warm sunny day with my son raking leaves, jumping on the tramp and playing a few games of soccer.... guess what my asthma never showed up at all.
Now this weekend I took it easy and played momma's taxi which I love doing but I also decided I am adding one more race to my three I am already completing and that's a Super Sprint Triathlon. It's not until Sept 7th and will be my last race of the season. Why not go out and try something new and I can swim and ride a bike and I am a runner so why not do all in one day! I just gotta convince a friend to come do it with me now! lol Wish me luck! I also came to other conclusions about where I want to go in life and decided to write more goals so I can achieve them. It's the right move for me and something I can do on top of what I am already doing... your never to old to dream a new dream!
Much love until Next time......
I am a single mom with one son that has been living with asthma since I was 2yrs old. I also almost died three times due to severe asthma attacks! I don't let my asthma stop me from accomplishing new goals and living life to the fullest.
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