So I've gone thru lots of changes over the last few months and haven't had time to update my blog so here I am going to attempt to write something coherent.
Lets see so life is slowly getting back to normal for me and my family... well as normal as it can be. I really don't know what normal is these days since everything in my life took a drastic change. Others more drastic and have no house to call home or have the unknown as to what to do with the place they once called home. For me I am thankful that I wasn't apart of the flood but it still effected me and people I care about. Yes my parents are still living with me which has been a blessing in disguise as I make this transition in my life to being a single mom to an amazing, talented, kind hearted, smart, loving and newly 10yr old boy! Yes I am a proud Mom... we make a great team and have some a long way in a short period of time but together we still have further to go.... we will get there. I am finding myself happier now and not so worried about things in my life I had no control over as they were the outside influences that effected me, my moods and how I handled myself. Saying goodbye to my past is really freeing... I feel like I've been reborn into this more grown up more mature person that I never thought I would be. don't get me wrong I still love to have fun but I find I handle myself differently and for the better. I am realizing to not get brought into other drama... believe me I HATE drama!!! 16 yrs of family drama and always watching over my shoulder and worried every-time the phone rang or an email came in.... I have none of that now. Well OK since this happened I finally got the dreaded email from my hypocritical 2 faced sister-in law and well I handled it more mature then I normally would have but I felt great after responding to it and being able to close that door (block on FB) that part of the negativity in my life. I am no longer the middle person in the family between my Ex and his family to try to keep the peace or to get everyone to get along. I'm so happy it's not my job anymore, they have their issues that will never be worked on or fixed and I am happy that my son and myself are no longer apart of it. I can show my son how to have a healthy family relationship where everyone isn't trying to out-do the other or that they don't abuse each other and never stand up for each other as they don't want to make a scene. I want my son to be mature, to make a stand for those that can't, the help others out and to be a useful member of society.
So that's where I am at these days all while starting to date (strange after 16 yrs).... The world is huge and isn't meant to just read about it... it's meant to be experienced yourself! I am also training for my first half marathon that's coming up on October 5th... yes nervous but not so freaked out now after completing 15km yesterday in 2hrs 15min. I know now what I need to work on to cover that far in a distance. I am still in shock about getting it done but am happy to have that done... now to just improve my running, breathing and timing with my run/walk. I will get there and I will finish the half one way or the other as I am determined to get that under my belt. It's something I have wanted to do ever since I started running but never thought I would ever be able to do with my asthma. I am also trying to work on the stopping of being so self critical... this week has been bad for it and I put added pressure onto myself that doesn't need to be there. I am still dealing with my anger and other issues and that too will go away as I work thru them instead of running from my problems or drinking my problems away.... I am tackling them head on so I can resolve them once and for all. Because you can only run so far and drink so much and your problems will always be there with you.
Until next time......
Here are song lyrics that hit home for me at this point in my life from the past to the present. Yes its the new Katy Perry "Roar". :)
I am a single mom with one son that has been living with asthma since I was 2yrs old. I also almost died three times due to severe asthma attacks! I don't let my asthma stop me from accomplishing new goals and living life to the fullest.
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