I happened to have just watched that movie for the 2nd time. Its a movie that I seem to get something from and makes me look deep inside my sole. The first time I watched it I wanted run off and travel like she did but without having the means to do so I decided to make the most of my experiences closer to home. I was feeling like a need for change and was at the point where I wanted to find myself and figure out what and who I am. I have achieved that since watching that movie. I'm not a religious person but more of a spiritual person.... one that believes in doing good for no other reason other be a decent kind human but also I won't be controlled and pushed around either. I am also honest and really wish others would be with me too. I appreciate other people that can be honest with me. I'm not scared of the future... whatever happens will happen. I know I can handle whatever comes my way as I am a pretty strong person.
Now this past weekend coming from finally having a weekend where nothing was planned and some major rest was able to be achieved. My body is finally feeling more back to normal. Looking forward to the next couple of weekends with nothing planned for once and more rest. So I watched the movie a second time this weekend and this time watching it I realized I need to open up my heart more when it comes to possibly finding a new love. I always held back as i was tired of getting used or not being the other persons perfect person. I now know I want someone to not just say they want me but to have the actions that back it up. I want them to fight to be with me and prove they want me. I am far from perfect but I am me and I want someone to accept me for being me. I do with the other person but in the past it always felt one sided and I want someone to fight and meet me half way. Until that happens I am enjoying being on my own and making memories and living my life. Just because I am alone doesn't mean I stop living and experiencing life. In looking back this past year I have made so many awesome memories and cherish everyone that is in it.
So last weekend my son and I headed to Sun Peaks outside of Kamloops BC to complete the Spartan Beast. The whole weekend was a total blast with friends and super proud of Ty and Kristen for getting their first Trifecta. They both did amazing during the race and the 4 of us overcame a lot of challenges. Between body parts starting to fail and my rotten asthma was the worst during the race so early on that caused me so much pain during the rest of the course. Still did it way faster then last years time. Most of my Spartans I improved a lot on my times. Yvonne, Kristen, Ty and I were killing it and getting obstacles done... we make an awesome team. Glad to have that over-with but it still is one of my favorite places to race.
I am happy to report that I finished my Canadian Spartans in 18th place in my age category in the open heat... I know holly crap!!! Total shock. Right now sitting in 107th place in my age category in the Worlds Open Category. I have improved so much this year compared to my previous years. Such an awesome feeling to finish that high after not really paying attention to my stats this year. I will post a pic of my stats since I started Spartans. I accomplished all this after almost dying in March this year. A month later I embarked on this journey and never expected results like this at all. I just I am a stubborn, determined, strong and unbroken chick. lol
I never would have started Spartans if it wasn't for this good guy that I dated right after I was separated. Mike showed me what I was capable of and could achieve and introduced me to different races and experiences. We both raced a lot the time we were together and even after we broke up. He showed me that life is meant to be happy and not so negative... that there is more to life and to experience it. I have to admit I was more stubborn back then and didn't follow or use it much but as time goes on and finding my own way I have utilized that into my life now. Modified them into my own way to make them more for me. At the time I was feeling like I was being told to and it had to be that way and well I shut down. Now I realize I can take what people suggest and see if it work, if it needs to be modified or if it won't work at all.
I have a few weeks off which I am looking forward to... having free weekends... oh my what is that all about lol. Getting back into working out again, got some game plans and ready to tackle my last Spartan Beast in Seattle. Going Solo and racing solo but still looking forward to it. My friend Marcy is driving down and volunteering the day while I race and staying with me which will be fun. I am flying down since my body can't handle that long of a drive then racing the next days and driving back. Sun Peaks and 8hrs was long enough. lol I am looking forward to my little adventure. I survived Manitoba's last minute escape I can handle Seattle and one of my fav places to go visit. Next time I go there and not race and spend more time enjoying the city.
Well on that note it's time I get back to taking care of me, resting, sleeping and getting back into working out. My son is starting indoor soccer again which starts up tonight again with evaluations. Going to need some luck sent my way so I can juggle that schedule on top of a busy school sport year.
Until next time...
I am a single mom with one son that has been living with asthma since I was 2yrs old. I also almost died three times due to severe asthma attacks! I don't let my asthma stop me from accomplishing new goals and living life to the fullest.
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