As I sit here on Saturday night relaxing with a glass of red wine, sitting at my new patio set I am feeling a little reflective. I am also feeling happiness and contentment. Content is not a word that would normally be associated with me or I would use to describe how I was feeling. I am going thru some health issues and at this stage we are not sure what exactly is going on. Before I go any further it's nothing major... Well I hope anyways it's just dealing with my left knee. This pain is nothing like I have felt there before. It's also located in a different spot too. So my personal trainer and my chiropractor are talking and it could be a bone bruise or a tear which is much worse. It happened in Montana at the Spartans. When I came home it was OK and my whole body was sore. But the knee felt good then bad, good and now it's staying at bad. Now the old me would be pissed, frustrated and mad at the world but where does that get me? Is it really being productive and helping anything being that way? No it's not so right now I am focusing my positive energy watching what I do and the most important thing is to get this to heal. I am doing everything that is recommended and actually resting it too. I am switching to no impact workouts and will be getting back on my bike again. I can do this and I can get this to heal without surgery (if it needs that). I have a game plan for my races and decided to do these races either alone or hooking up with Mudd Queens and Kathleen too if we are doing the same races together. I am not scared to go alone as I always make friends along the way and will find someone or a group to hang out with. That's what makes it more fun. Meeting new people and at times enjoying the location of the race. I am nowhere near being an elite athlete so why not take this time to improve my skills and meet others in the amazing race world. I have met and have become friends with some really cool and awesome people! I am always grateful for that.
I still haven't heard if my temporary contract will be turned into a permanent one yet. The old me would be bothered by it but for me everything happens for a reason. If it doesn't work out then there is another path I am to follow and I will make something else work. If it does it's great and a perfect fit for me. I love working where I do and work with some great people. Despite my challenges I do have the perfect home and work life right now. I thought it was funny that they wanted me to be in a promotional video showing a healthy work life balance thing. I got to play badminton while they filmed it. We will see how it turns out. Should be entertaining.
Since December I still can't believe I am still feeling this way. Calm, happy and content. I have also enjoyed the single life discovering myself. I haven't been in a relationship since October, this is the longest I have been single and it's been great. It's given me time to find out who I am. I know what I want and don't want and I don't need a man to make me happy, I can make myself happy. I want a man to compliment my life by adding some new stuff but also finding that thing we like doing together. Also want to be able to have my own thing and they have theirs. We don't need to be joined at the hip we can still be independent in a committed relationship. Travel together at times but not all the time. Just someone who can support me in my thing and I would support them in theirs. No drama or mind games. Just open and honest and likes to do a variety of things. A person that likes getting out in nature and experiencing life. Someone who I can talk to and laugh with. When it's right it will be right. Until then just enjoying the journey. I don't think I am asking for a lot. I found out thru dating and past relationships that people lie. What ever happened with honesty. I rather be hurt with the truth then hurt with a lie. I am a pretty smart person and can read people pretty good. I listen to my gut and it's almost always right. I may never find out the truth right away but eventually the truth does come out. It hurts and it stings but at the same time I am working on how I react to the situation. What that person did is no reflection on me as a person. They chose to lie and they have to live with themselves and the outcome that may happen from that lie.
So I started to write this Saturday night but like most blog posts they don't get finished right away and it takes me a few days to get what I want to say out and written.
Sunday morning I met up with a friend and we went biking together. Went about 7 miles and for most of it wasn't bad and not much traffic which is always a good thing. First time out on my road bike after my Olympic Triathlon in Banff back in September last year. Before I got sick looking at it and it brought back mixed memories of pain and happiness finishing. I had no accidents and the knee did OK until we were heading back and had a strong head wind. I was able to relax the rest of the day but then at night pain sets in and I can't put pressure on it going up stairs. Hurts and throbs. I haven't felt pain like this in that knee before so I have to admit I am slightly worried about it. I haven't been feeling the greatest and still get pretty tired easily. I now realize that my body is focusing it's energy on my knee to try and help it. I am taking supplements to help with the energy and the knee issues so I am on the right track. I have my next race June 20th and it needs to be better by then, even if I have to walk it. It's only a fun 5km so isn't a major concern. I just want to do it. lol
I see my Doctor later today so not sure what is going to be said but maybe I can get into places to get it looked at. Wish me luck!
Until Next Time...
I am a single mom with one son that has been living with asthma since I was 2yrs old. I also almost died three times due to severe asthma attacks! I don't let my asthma stop me from accomplishing new goals and living life to the fullest.
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