Life....

So where do I start.... so much has happened and change since May long weekend I don't even know which end is up these days.

My life as I knew it is changing... for the best as I am getting used to the idea but at first was pissed but then realized lots of things and admitted things needed to change. I was changing but more needed to be done and well the process started. So just when I was getting used to the idea and coming up with new life plans and things were working out incredibly well in my favor I thought hey OK so this won't be so bad after all. I got back on the working out and running plan and things were just going along smoothly as so it seemed.

June 20th my life as well as everyone else I know and love changed.... not just an easy change but a drastic change. The town I have lived in and loved was devastated by a flood... not just your ordinary flood but a natural disaster. The town has lived up to it's name of High River. Luckily I live on a farm outside of town but our old houses were under water... that wasn't the worst part. My parents lived in town and was stranded at their house majority of the day waiting to be rescued. Yes I was freaked out and scared... cell service was flaky and horrible thoughts kept running thru my mind. All my friends and co-workers were dealing with everything as well and everyone's homes were hit and some still under water. I think I've told you I'm an only child but this one freaked me out badly... not being able to save them and the one time I got thru on my Dad's cell phone and hearing the water rush by them made things even worse. Thankfully they and few of their neighbors were rescued in the bucket of a front end loader... last ones out in that loader in their area. The rest had to be rescued by helicopter. Seeing my parents when I went to pick them up at the evacuation center was an image I wasn't prepared for... to this day I see that, hear the water and have nightmares every night. We don't sleep well either... actually I don't remember the last time I slept thru the night. We are all dealing with post traumatic stress disorder on top of all the other life changes I'm going thru. Yes I can't take much more... I have fallen into a depression again and not ashamed to admit it but I am slowly making my way out. I am strong and I will get thru this one way or the other... I have too many people counting on me to just roll over and give up. Believe me I would love to and at times have tried to but I can't.

My races that were to take place on June 29th got moved to August 3rd (happy cause now I can run fast and have fun with my son) and my half marathon has been moved to next year. Now the stubborn me and wanting to complete my first half marathon this year has found another one on Oct.5th. My friend is going to join me. I am happy to be able to keep that goal and it's one I have been working hard for and have been wanting to complete so bad. I wasn't ready to give up on that just yet. As for the others I have decided to move them to the summer of 2014 when things will have settled down by then and my parents should be back living in their own house by then... least I am hoping so. lol They do however love my brand new house and may want to stay forever.

I feel for everyone that is dealing with insurance companies and finding out their houses are condemned and wish I could do more for everyone I know dealing with those issues but I also know that with everything I am going thru I need to worry about me and get my life back into a somewhat normal routine if I can ever get that. I desperately need it. My son and I need it. I always have been a helper to others and have always put myself on the back burner and for once I am putting me first as I need my sanity back to feel like me again. I can't add anymore to my already busy, crazy insane plate! I am thankful I made that step with working out and lifting weights with my gal Lisa teaching me everything as that training that I have had has been helping me throughout this difficult time in my life and I was able to help myself get out of the depression. I am thankful for Lisa and her knowledge and giving me the tools I needed to help me in life's difficult times. I just wish she and her family would get some good luck their way as they totally need it and deserve it!

I am going to try to get back into running again and get back to going to the gym once my health issues start to go away from the stress... OK I am going to the gym Friday... yes I am making myself go and will be glad I made it there. I know once I can sleep a whole night that would help me out greatly! I don't have any races until August 3rd now. I also know that my future looks brighter and full of awesome opportunities!!! :)

I just want to say Thank You to everyone who have helped me thru this difficult time as well as a HUGE thank you from the bottom of my heart to my parents... without them I would have nothing and so thankful to have them in my life! xoxox

Until next time....

My parents back deck during the flood.

This is me helping clean out my parents basement... luckily I had fat clothes left to wear that I didn't care about.

The piles of basement garbage was like this all over town.

The train tracks in town were moved all over and this one was made to look like a fence. The devastation is so sad everywhere.