What can I say... This month has been a hard one for me and my training. Started the month tired and exhausted, then got sick and have had two weeks off of no workouts. Not good but my asthma has been effected badly. My last post basically explains how I've been feeling with this cold. My body feels lazy and fat again and frankly I miss my workouts as hard as they are I do truly miss them. I miss that strong getting sweaty feeling and being able to push farther then the training session before. I miss the little accomplishments and small victories. One of my non workout victories is finally having two toes have their nails grow back enough to finally have a pedicure. I lost the nails after my half marathon and have been trying to save them from my summer races.

I am still frustrated and my cold has basically gone away but my lungs are still not a 100%. The weather has changed from bone chilling cold to warmer snow melting chinook spring like weather. That usually means for me the perfect weather to get outside and run. Needless to say I am itching to get back to running outside and my triathlon workouts.

But like the weather it changes and it's back to a little snow and cold and I am going to attempt to run tomorrow night. Decided to do it on my treadmill at home in a controlled environment away from all the elements that can hurt my lungs. Will start out slow and hoping to increase my speed as I go and see how long I end up lasting. I have a feeling it will go well or not so good but regardless I am going to try to get back on this training schedule. I have a 10km snowshoe race in the mountains on March 8th so I need to get my cardio back up but also know if I end up walking it that it's still better then not doing it.

Wish me luck!

Until next time....

I have to say that since I started this healthier fitness driven lifestyle I haven't had many major issues with my asthma. Sure there are bad days and days of struggle but nothing like I am experiencing tonight with my head cold. I haven't felt this way with the struggling of trying to breathe since I was younger when my asthma was a constant issue. I had thought that with increasing my lung capacity and all the exercising to make my lungs stronger I wouldn't have to experience that again. Boy am I ever wrong in thinking that.

I haven't had the shallow breathing this bad where it makes me feel dizzy constantly as well as my fingers and toes get so cold due to the lack of oxygen getting in. I think I have it settled down but if it doesn't look like I may have to make a trip to emerg to get a treatment. I haven't had one of those in years I am happy to say. They help but the after effects I don't enjoy much. Much like using your inhaler too much you get the jitters and the slightly faster heart beat that I feel like I am having to slow down.

I am upset I am missing my coached bike training session tomorrow morning but I know with how I feel it isn't worth it even trying. It really frustrates me and pisses me off too when people say just try and push thru it but it's easy for them to say when they have never experienced what it's like to force yourself to keep breathing even though your tired of struggling to get that next breathe. They way your body feels because your taking so many asthma meds to keep it under controlled so you don't have to go to the hospital. The body jitters and heart beat races and how you feel so wired but your soooo exhausted just trying to catch enough air into your body so you can stop feeling this way is a huge struggle.

It has nothing to do with a bad attitude or giving up it is just a time of struggle and constantly trying to calm things down that you have a tendacy to be a little cranky not a happy person. You just need a person to rub your back and just be there for you and help keep you calm and relaxed. It's also not that same when your lungs are bothered when your trying to race where you can take a few puffs of your inhaler and you can push on because it's a different type of lung issues because you started fine but when your sick it's a whole different story.

If I could have one wish.... Only one wish in the whole entire world I would wish for no asthma so people didn't have to suffer this way. This feeling brings back memories of when I was in the hospital when I almost died the second time. I know I am not that bad but some symptoms are the same that are giving me warning signs. Luckily I know what my limits are and I would get help faster now then back then but I also know more about my body and the disease then I did back then too.

Until next time......

I've been busy working out 5 to 6 days a week with my triathlon training. Have to admit this is one of the hardest things I've had to do with that to date. Not only physically but mentally too. Trying to plan life, work, being a single mom, seeing my friends, family and boyfriend is a constant struggle.

For the physical aspect of it all I feel like a zombie and my body has been struggling with pain and learning to recover faster. Thankfully the weight training was helping it but still my body isn't used to the intensity of the training of cycling on a tri bike for 2 hrs (let alone my butt is still learning to adapt to that) to running and then in the pool swimming up to 42 laps in an hour.

I've had to ease up the intensity for a few weeks to help my body adjust and to help ease the frustrations of my body being tired plus when I was pushing thru it my technique started to suffer which isn't good at all which then makes me frustrated. I know a vicious circle that I am trying hard to avoid. I am also getting better at not being so hard on myself and taking each day, each new training workout as it is and for what it is and seeing what I can do different or improve. As my gal Lisa say's "trust the process"... It seems to be my new life motto. Some days I believe it more then others but regardless it's always in the back of my mind in any life situation.

My asthma... Well for the most part is doing great and hanging in there. Now that I am suffering a head cold this week it's doing not so great and makes my workouts extremely challenging especially when I tried to swim. It so didn't work out in my favour and my lungs/cold won. Body won though as I sat in the hot tub after trying and rested it which I can tell it was very thankful for.

Things I have learned along this journey so far is that I am more in tune with my body more then ever and I know I really need to see a chiropractor as my body feels so off and not in line with anything. So that's my next step is to get that looked at.

My diet has become a huge thing with all this training and learning how to keep it fuelled with the right foods and enough of the right foods is still a challenge. I have better days then others but the bad days are getting fewer and fewer. So there is still hep for me yet. I have 1 month till my first race and I can still get there and fine tune things as I go.

Trying to make a schedule so I can make sure my workouts, spending time with my son/boyfriend, seeing my friends and family and working a full time job is a juggling act but things are working out. I was scared of trying to make it all work but I was before the seperation and nothing is different now other then the stess and not having that other negative person to impact your life. They were there but majority of the time I did things on my own and had more animals on top of it to worry about. Only difference I had a great job with part time hours. I am strong and I've gotten thru so much in my past that anything else that gets tossed my way I will over come those challenges. Don't get me wrong I do have my moments of sadness and frustration and the "why me" questions but I am learning to deal with them and move on from the past. I have great days and I have not so great days. We are all human and have our own way of dealing with things and some things take time but eventually it will all be worth the pain in the end because you can say you did it and survived! Life isn't easy or ever will be easy you just eventually learn to roll with some things and other things you stand up and say "no way" and make a change. Change is scary but change can be such a wonderful freeing experience too. I can honestly say I've never been stuck in a rut in my life other then my workouts for a few months. Lol

So on that note I will leave you with those thoughts.

Until next time....